Each Sunday, our goal is to share a piece of gold with you. Some small piece of information that helps you to have a better week and achieve a better outcome.  

As we operate in our busy organizations, we develop relationships with our peers, with our supervisors, and with those we have the opportunity to lead. Those relationships can often naturally develop into a more transactional relationship focused on getting things done, solving problems, and working through the many situations that we must navigate in business.  

However, to truly be impactful and develop the positive culture we want in our organizations, we must focus on the whole human. It doesn’t matter if we are talking about our boss, our team, or even a customer, by understanding as much as you can about their entire life, the better you can serve them.  

Here is what we know to be a fact: Everyone has some level of $h!t going on in their lives. It may be a health issue, a marriage issue, a financial challenge, an issue with a child or parent, or simply feeling depressed.  

When we focus on the transactional nature of a relationship, we get things done. However, when we focus on the whole human, we can make the most important impact… helping someone feel important and appreciated… and if we are fortunate, helping to improve their life.  

It is not always easy to develop trust and the rapport with someone at first. However, some simple questions can get the conversation started. Here are a few things I’ve found to be successful, depending on the type of relationship (coworker, client, peer, community member).  

  • New Relationship:  
    • What do your kids love to do?  
    • Tell me something fun you were able to do with your family on your last vacation?  
    • What is your favorite vacation spot and why?  
    • If you weren’t working today, what would you be doing?  
    • What is your favorite date night spot?  
    • How did you get into this profession?  
    • If you were given $10,000 and you had to spend it in 24 hours, what would you do?  
  • Already Developed Rapport: 
    • What is the biggest challenge you are working through in your personal life?  
    • On a scale of 1 to 5, how would you rate your happiness? What would move it up a number?  
    • What is the last thing you did for someone else (spouse, parent, sibling, child, etc.) that brought you joy?  
    • What is something you could do today that would make today better for your spouse?  
    • If you had the afternoon off work today, what would you do? (Then give them the day off.)  
    • What is one thing I could take off your plate that would make a difference to you? 
    • What is something you can do in the next week that is just for you that would bring you joy? (Road trip, spa day, going to the gym, an awesome meal, calling an old friend, simply sleeping in…)   

Knowing that we are truly seen, valued, and appreciated is a core need that we all have. By taking the extra time to focus on the whole human we are adding value to the lives of others. We may plant a seed for someone to help them to focus on themselves or a relationship that needs some attention.  

The best leaders ask the best questions. I encourage you to ask better questions, listen, then ask a follow up question so the recipient knows you are listening.  

It only takes ten minutes to have a meaningful conversation. We are all busy, but it’s not hard to find that much time to make someone’s day or week a little better.  

The goal of Adapt or Die is to build better leaders who run better companies and change the world. If you’d like a copy of our 1-on-1 Guide, purchase your copy of Adapt or Die here and then go to adaptordie.com/assets to get started. I hope it helps you to have better meetings!