We have all heard how important it is to have Emotional Intelligence in leadership. Some go so far as to say that EQ is more important than IQ… and in most situations, I believe this is true. Now… it is totally possible to have an idiot as a leader who works hard to connect with their team and fails. We all know that you have to have a foundation of respect for their knowledge to truly be effective.  

However, if a leader is sound in their practices and has a high EQ, the data shows that they will produce a higher performing team than a leader who has a high level of knowledge that does not have a positive EQ and connection to their Team.  

I believe that to make the difference that a culture will see, feel, and recognize, the entire leadership team must focus to help people improve their lives and become the best version of themselves.  

If you want people to share their challenges with you, you have to create an environment where people feel safe and encouraged to share those challenges. Then you must be willing to take actions to help navigate through those situations.  

This is not usually a challenge because even average leaders truly care for their team and want what is best for them. The tough part for most leaders is in creating accountability while being empathic to issues that may be impacting outcomes.  

After screwing up in these circumstances more times that I can count, here is the advice I would share:  

  • Establish the trusted relationship before the tough times appear. If you wait until you need to have the courageous conversations to try to establish trust, it will be much more difficult (and sometimes impossible).
  • Focus on the person over the outcome. During tough times, the best of us just need to know that someone has our back. Learn what is appropriate about the challenges they are dealing with and take away as much stress as  you can to empower them to focus on the right things. “Don’t worry about producing at even half of the normal level. Take care of your family and we’ll pick up the difference.”
  • Lean into the challenges. “Hey Bill. I know you have a lot going on right now and I want to do my best to help you support you. In doing that, I want to make sure set an expectation for myself, and for the team so we all know things may be a bit off for the next week or so. Don’t worry, I won’t share anything with the team about what is going on, just that we have discussed a few things you have in progress that will impact the outcomes. What do you think is fair to commit to, so we are all on the same page?” 
  • Don’t let it drag on for an unreasonable period of time. Unfortunately, some people will take advantage of your kindness. Stay plugged into their progress, and when necessary, have a “time to step up” conversations.
    “Hey Bill. You seem to be keeping up with the outcomes in our last conversation. I appreciate you balancing production with your personal challenges. <pause> I don’t want to push too hard, but we do have some tough commitments that we need to achieve, and the team cannot cover the difference for too long – I have to be fair to them too. Would it be possible to start taking steps towards your old levels of performance. Do you think we can make some incremental improvements over the next week or so? Is there something I can do to help you make some progress?” 
  • Get help when you need it. There are a lot of specialists in the world that can help navigate through any issue. Whether it is about helping the individual, helping you help the individual, or some form or Teamwork… The burden they are dealing with doesn’t have to become your biggest burden. Use your resources and everyone will benefit.
     

Ultimately, we know that helping our Team during a tough time is one of the most important times to demonstrate that we have their back. However, if we are not connected in advance, have an appreciation for who they are and when things get out of balance, our leadership is going to be challenged. Lead empathy, grace, appreciate each person is what facilitate the best long term outcomes.  

 

Be well and help your Team be better.